Have you ever been so afraid of failing at something that you decided not to try it at all?

Or has a fear of failure meant that, subconsciously, you undermined your own efforts to avoid the possibility of a larger failure?

Has fear lead you to sorrow, apathy, guilt and shame?

Many of us have probably experienced this at one time or another. The fear of failing can be immobilizing – it can cause us to do nothing, and therefore resist moving forward. But when we allow fear to stop our forward progress in life, we’re likely to miss some great opportunities along the way.

Fear of failure is one of the strongest emotions as it can take over our body and lead us in a ‘descent into hell’ by getting us in a spiral of suffering vibrations and then our energy goes down, down, down…

In this descent into hell, fear makes us first contract into anxiety apprehension and worry. We become fearful and reluctant to try new things or get involved in challenging projects or follow through with goals.

This makes us suffer and we contract even more and by doing so we move to the next station below: Sorrow. We feel sorrow, misery, loneliness, a state of agony. At a certain point, the pain becomes so overwhelming that we contract even harder and we fall one level below into numbness, apathy.

Apathy leads us to a feeling of fatigue, lassitude, disinterest, blues… It paralyses us and stops us from doing the things that can move us forward to achieve our goals.

This leads us inevitably to the next station below: guilt. At this level of suffering our inner criticus, our inner self-saboteur gets activated and starts lynching us with blame, culpability, regrets. Our self-confidence drops dramatically, and we start commonly using negative statements such as “I’ll never be good enough to get that promotion,” or “I’m not smart enough to get on that team”, “I don’t deserve that person/job/house/life”.

And then we reach our next destination in our descent into hell: shame. Here we reach the bottom of low self-esteem and we are overpowered by the low vibrations of humiliation, disgust and self-reproach. This is the critical point into our descent to hell, because if we go lower then we end up into self-hatred and self-destruction.

The good news: we don’t have to stay forever in this sate of being. There are ways to get out of there. Next week I will tell you about few simple and efficient strategies to fall graciously in hell and raise gloriously to heaven.

But before, tell me: what about YOU? How is your ‘descent to hell’?

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    4 thoughts on “How to Heal Your Fear of Failure?

    1. Avatar
      Maria says:

      Dear Kaouthar,

      Somehow i could not submit my respond on the site so i do it this way:
      My descent into hell is exactly as you describe it. I fear to put out in
      the world what i believe in. I am sad i can not do it. And i feel numb.
      …. And then i feel i am not good enough to do this. There is no way i
      am good enough to put the Divine9 Dance therapy out in the world. And
      then i feel shame, so much shame, I feel humiliation. I feel like
      vomiting.
      So now what.

      With love,
      Maria

      • Dr. Kaouthar Darmoni
        Dr. Kaouthar Darmoni says:

        Habibti Maria,
        It is very common that the people who are very good in what they do, are also perfectionist and very demanding on themselves. I have exactly the same. It comes from the number 1 basic wound that women carry in the world which is ‘I am not good enough.’ The more skilled, the more fear of success. You are not anymore at the fear of failure but at the fear of success. At my next blog post you can see the Hadra ritual film to empty the head of irrational fear and spit it out. Doing the Trance Dance Hadra followed by Shimmy Shoulders and rolling the shoulders to the back to leave it all behind. And then do it again, and after do the Lemniscate Chest to expand and imagine yourself as great Divine 9 Dance Practitioner. Lift chest and expand trust. Add Snake Arms and Snake Hands and expand and imagine yourself as the best Divine 9 Dance Practitioner. Finish with Full Snake with one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly to comfort yourself. “I love myself.’ At the end sit in silence with one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly to anchor the alignment of head, heart, belly.
        💜💃🔥
        Kaouthar

    2. Avatar
      Maria says:

      Dear Kaouthar,

      Somehow i could not submit my respond on the site so i do it this way:
      My descent into hell is exactly as you describe it. I fear to put out in
      the world what i believe in. I am sad i can not do it. And i feel numb.
      …. And then i feel i am not good enough to do this. There is no way i
      am good enough to put the Divine9 Dance therapy out in the world. And
      then i feel shame, so much shame, I feel humiliation. I feel like
      vomiting.
      So now what.

      With love,
      Maria

      • Dr. Kaouthar Darmoni
        Dr. Kaouthar Darmoni says:

        Habibti Maria,
        It is very common that the people who are very good in what they do, are also perfectionist and very demanding on themselves. I have exactly the same. It comes from the number 1 basic wound that women carry in the world which is ‘I am not good enough.’ The more skilled, the more fear of success. You are not anymore at the fear of failure but at the fear of success. At my next blog post you can see the Hadra ritual film to empty the head of irrational fear and spit it out. Doing the Trance Dance Hadra followed by Shimmy Shoulders and rolling the shoulders to the back to leave it all behind. And then do it again, and after do the Lemniscate Chest to expand and imagine yourself as great Divine 9 Dance Practitioner. Lift chest and expand trust. Add Snake Arms and Snake Hands and expand and imagine yourself as the best Divine 9 Dance Practitioner. Finish with Full Snake with one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly to comfort yourself. “I love myself.’ At the end sit in silence with one hand on your heart and one hand on your belly to anchor the alignment of head, heart, belly.
        💜💃🔥
        Kaouthar

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