In my previous blog I wrote about why I organise bootcamps to teach women to transform their hidden feminine assets into belle laide, sex appeal, sensuality, social skills, social presentation and overall liveliness & energy.
In a dynamic dance practice that’s both a physical workout and a coaching session, it proves women can very well learn to stay attuned to their most beautiful and strong underlying feminine patterns and stay strong in everyday life. It’s a female empowerment method that pioneers a new notion of female identity by aligning the female brain with the female heart with the female belly.
I never speak so much about equality. To me this seems like a natural thing. I rather catapult women beyond all that by teaching and training them to be most curious, adventurous and compassionate with whatever they will undertake and to let no-one come in the way.
Developing a future for yourself, to help women change the currency of their relationships to men, is teaching them who they can be, without framing it in relation to men. Only then there will be true equality and personal growth by self-control and control over all 4 capitals (see blog 5), including the erotic capital.
My sessions cover from memory and intellect to desire and covetousness. Mental powers as well as sensual powers and physical/corporal force. And this I do by aligning these three intelligence centres (brain-heart-guts) and to put them to your best use on levels only the strongest among us normally undertake. (And you’re invited.)
I once had a young lady working in Parliament who came for personal coaching, a pretty attractive and beautiful woman. She said to me: ‘…But I don’t want to be judged for my erotic capital-skills!’ First thing I had to do was letting her experience that there is nothing wrong with feeling feminine, sensual and attractive. Helping her getting rid of that projection which was put on her too. Explaining her that it’s already a natural part of her set of hard and soft skills.
What others sexualize basically is their problem. What you – when you want to be a full blaze woman – have to do is to reconnect with yourself and to transform yourself into sheer elegance, grace and sophistication, as only then you cannot be sexualized. By no-one. Only then you will be able to arrange things with a nod, a gesture, the glimpse of an eye. Or, when they really get too close or are too weird for your taste, with a simple word or two, a joke, a punch line, a clever remark.
For that you indeed need a certain flexibility and joie-de-vivre, or in other words, love, humour and wisdom. For that you need an alertness and an energy that enables you to react smartly. Well, let me teach you just that, becoming your best and most sensual you, and I promise you will never be harassed on the workfloor. Or need to carry pepper-spray to work.
That it works I can perhaps illustrate by the spontaneous feedback I got from the participants the last weekend I did a boot camp. When asked what decent people can do to improve the climate for women in response to #MeToo the subject was solved in three minutes:
“Always rebuke and reproach someone who is talking disrespectful about women • Call out every form of sexism, racism and homophobia – at all ages, in all places, in all groups – it’s too childish and too obsolete in a world that is a melting pot by definition, where your own brother, sister, cousin might be one of these groups • If you must insult someone leave out remarks on body and gender • Don’t be dismissive or argumentative during conversations around types of oppression that you don’t personally experience – it almost never is ‘over-sensitivity’ or ‘just a misinterpretation’ • Be mindful when you talk about women by never unfairly downplaying their equal credentials • Never mention appearance when introducing women – instead just use full job titles and accolades • Provide an outside appraisal of the environment experienced by women and minorities within the department • Provide suggestions to leadership for interventions or changes • Make eye contact when speaking to women • Work harder not to interrupt women • Make sure they are invited too – for lunches and other social activities • Nominate women for important awards, committees, positions • Avoid diminutive nicknames like ‘darling’, solely use preferred names • Don’t dress your daughter in pink and do give your son a doll to play with (free them from rigid gender roles) • When discomfort arises around topics like sexism, racism, male privileges and advantage and other social aspects don’t change the subject – it is because people may have something new to learn • Do a little reading on subjects that you don’t fully identify with or understand and don’t expect others to educate you – try to see things from another perspective • Educate yourself about gender bias and discrimination – read or follow feminist writers, there are so many that are funny or inspiring or wise • Spread the word of females, signal-boost female voices, amplify women’s voices at work • Revise your ideas of consent – keep in mind that ‘no’ means ‘no’, proceed only when you receive a verbal yes or when you see your pants unzipped.”
Humour, compassion, wisdom indeed.