#Metoo is good and also devastating for male-female relationships. The down side of it puts women once again in the victims’ corner. And is that’s where we still are? Not people in our own right; not women with agency or passion or a desire for self-determination? Are we still here to be taken care of, even as the insecurities of those male figures show that their greatest fear is themselves?

Together with Mrs. Weldon (see my previous blog) I too think feminism so far has been pretty successful. But after a revolution (the Seventies) you obviously lose a generation or two or three, or so it seems. So many young women of today take everything for granted and too easily think they are entitled to everything.

They have theories and judgemental opinions on so many things, also when they don’t really have a profound realization yet of how strong biology is, how thin the layer of civilization, what good sensuality is and what bad sexuality, how much they themselves have perhaps adapted to the patriarchal image factory of pornification, what struggling is, what fighting for ideals is, what falling apart is, what despair is, what feeling totally lost is, what the hardship of surviving is. Let alone something as subtle as maintaining and developing your femininity and natural sensuality and how to put it into good use.

Here in the North-Western countries they now call upon each other for self-defence lessons, e.g. to learn to kick men in the balls while applying the stranglehold. Would they have a clue about A) that to fight a thing that have blocked the road for females for thousands of years cannot be hurdled to overcome in a few decades? And B) that there are much better ways to resolve things, so much simpler than karate?

What will make the difference to the outcome is how women do respond in intelligent manners. In general, at the one end of a response spectrum is aggression and at the other passivity. But neither resolves the problem or prevents its repetition. Aggression alienates the sexes. While of course passivity, repressing the emotions, damages women’s self-esteem, makes feelings build and gives rise to resentment, depression even, with the likelihood that one day the mountain becomes a volcano.

Evidently, all it takes is a little MeToo hashtag to light the powder keg…

It was Mrs. Weldon too who discovered some years ago what makes women happy nowadays: sex, food, friends, family, shopping, chocolate. In this order…
‘Love tends not to get a look in. Too unfashionable. Or else taken for granted’, she added. Can you imagine? Love gets no place…

In my opinion, too many women still have too much of the old-fashioned stereotype of angry plate throwers.

We need better discussions about the problem, on all levels of society, from schools to legislation making. And we always need the individual decision to speak up on the spot and on the moment. Save the china and the crystal! When we fail to speak up and challenge situations or behaviours (or the comments) that undermine who we are on the spot and in the moment, we indirectly teach people how to treat us.

To be continued…

 

PS. I would love to read your comments so leave them below or send me an email info@kaouthar.com. And remember to share this with the special ones in your life because Sharing is Caring

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