You are responsible for your sexual happiness and your ultimate erotic success depends on the sexual choices you make.

1. Awaken your Aphrodite: Increase your Erotic Capital

Aphrodite is the goddess of Love, pleasure and erotique. It’s important to realize that you are the only one responsible for your erotic pleasure. You cannot let your Aphrodite depend on a partner’s experience, praise or validation. You need to be in charge. There are many ways to awaken your Aphrodite.

The CocoCabassa technique (we also call it ‘Vagina Dance’) we use during the Goddesses Dance is a great tool for that. It is an amazing technique that awakens strongly and efficiently the erotic energy/life force in the pelvis.

2. Engage your Hestia: Learn Erotic Self-Sufficiency.

Hestia is the goddess of self-sufficiency and mindfulness. She enjoys being on her own and is sexually and emotionally detached. When we dance the archetype of Aphrodite, we often combine it with Hestia, as erotic self-sufficiency is one of the best and most empowering skills to learn.

So stop relying on an external partner-lover to be sexually happy. Start providing yourself, in a relaxed way, with the pleasure you need.
I don’t like so much the word ‘masturbation’, sounds so ‘technical’ and ‘goal orientated’. I prefer the word ‘play with myself’, as it opens the space to much more than focus on sexual orgasm. Step out of the ‘focus’ energy of masturbation and enter the realms of the ‘diffuse’ energy of sensual and sexual playfulness.

3. Call upon your Artemis: Be Assertive & Guard your Boundaries.

Artemis is the goddess to call upon when we need to be more assertive and strong. It’s important to know, and say, what we erotically like and dislike. Crucial to not ‘trade’ or negotiate about our sexual needs. We often dance Artemis together with Aphrodite to build erotic self-esteem and self-respect. Our Aphrodite can only be erotically free and wild if she feels safe. And Artemis is the one who guards Aphrodite’s boundaries so that she can safely play with her erotic power.

4. Stimulate your Persephone: Be Vulnerable & Listen to your ‘Sexual Intuition’

Persephone is the child, the Goddess of vulnerability and intuition. We often dance her to stimulate the vulnerability of the child in our sexuality. It might seem contradictory as we do not want to associate the child with sexuality (fear of pedophilia).
But in this context we mean engaging our ‘erotic innocence’, that playful pure sensual energy we all had as children, before it was oppressed and manipulated by negative social and cultural morals. When we dance our little Persephone together with Aphrodite, we are able to connect with our erotic intuition and use it as a natural erotic compass to safely and playfully guide our steps in our sexual quest.

5. Banish Demeter from the Bedroom!

Demeter is the goddess of maternal love, nourishment and empathy. Better not to engage her in your sexual pleasure. First of all nobody wants to have sex with their mother! Second if you combine Demeter with Aphrodite, you will become a ‘sexual mama’ putting her men-children’s needs before her own. The risk to attract sexually dysfunctional partners becomes greater (premature ejaculators, sexual addicts, narcissists…) Don’t be a sexual caretaker… unless you are looking for unpaid work as sexual worker.

6. Don’t let your Hera rule your sex life: YOU First!

Hera is the Goddess of ‘Sacred Union’. She is unconditionally committed and faithful to her partner. That involves also the risk that even if she is sexually frustrated or unhappy, she will stick to the relationship. So when we dance Hera, we honor her commitment to the ‘Sacred Union’ but we combine it with the commitment to Aphrodite’s erotic essence. We dance to emphasize that the most sacred union is our union with ourselves, and that involves that we are fulfilled and happy sexually with ourselves and our partners.

7. Involve your Athena: develop an ‘erotic strategy’

Athena is the goddess of logical thinking and pragmatism, qualities you might think of as ‘a-sexual’. However to be sexually happy you need an ‘inner-erotic- strategy’. We dance Athena in a way that enhances our ‘erotic brain’, to have a map that allows us to stay on track and follow the right erotic path. Athena helps our Aphrodite to focus only on what makes us sexually happy.  No erotic compromises!

Athena keeps you erotically on track by reminding you to: increase your erotic capital with Aphrodite, enhance your erotic self-sufficiency with Hestia, be assertive and guard your sexual boundaries with Artemis, be vulnerable and listen to your ‘sexual intuition’ with Persephone, don’t listen to Demeter and keep maternal love out of your erotic life, don’t let Hera rule your sex life, you first!

Dancing Athena is like dancing the crown of all goddesses because it makes you realize: You are a goddess! Wear your erotic crown with pride and grace!  

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    3 thoughts on “7 Tips How to be Erotically & Sexually Happy

    1. Serena says:

      I love you Kaouthar! This is the most genius article about a joyful, fulfilling female sexuality. It’s so true, so convincing. Thank you so much for sharing***

    2. Lenka Mrazova says:


      i love you!
      You wrote it so amazingly!
      It is so great to connect succinctly the individual goddesses with individual features of our erotic.
      Perfect work, were well done!

      Hope to see you in Olso on WIN in September again


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