Kaouthar Darmoni

Writing on this winter solstice day, 21 December, the shortest and darkest day of the year, a turning point where we dive into darkness before emerging to the light.

While I am writing this to you, I surrounded myself with the soft light of few candles and the ‘Ultra light therapy lamp’ I use in the winter months. I would not be able to survive the North European winter without my ‘light therapy’ lamp.

Looking back at 2016 I do realize that it was a year marked by chaos that led to fear and uncertainty. These feelings are truly justified by many challenges we faced in 2016: terrorism, wars, IS, Trump, economic breakdowns, rise of intolerance, violence against women and children…

I personally don’t like chaos and I prefer a pattern of control and predictions. This got stronger since I became a mother. And anyway no matter how hard I organize and control everything, my life is much more chaotic and unpredictable than I’d like to admit.

I live in a paradox where I seek order, but I come alive and creative only in unpredictable situations. I know from experience that I need order and predictability to function but I need chaos to create necessary mutations and evolution. We need safety, security, and predictability while we unconsciously desire and thrive in uncertainty and chaos.

Our Athena (masculine goddess of logical thinking) is calling for order but our Aphrodite (feminine goddess of love & beauty) is calling for chaos. Our Athena tries to make life as predictable as possible by making every aspect of life measurable, controllable, for the sake of comfort. Our Aphrodite likes surprises, spontaneity; she wants to enjoy, be curious and alive. No matter how much Athena likes to convince us that we need order and comfort, our brains are also wired on Aphrodite for chaos and surprises; as we easily get bored and lose interest when faced with chronic order.

So my beloved goddesses, and gods, I wish that we would ALL find in 2017 a good balance between order and chaos to feel inspired, alive and playful. I wish that we would seek more what connects us with ourselves, others and the rest of the world.

And talking about the world: I wish in 2017 that we become aware that the world, especially in these moments of chaos, is craving for more feminine qualities, in women and men; to make the world more sensual, peaceful, empathetic and nurturing.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Kaouthar

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